Broken Still.....

[Lissie]

Second, I dont neccasarily think I should know all the right moves with my kids. I just hate that I question them all. 9 times out of 10 I am doing the right thing, but I still wonder. Of course a lot of that comes down to how shittty of a father I was before all of this. I pay for that now, not with them, with myself. I have no idea what I was thinking losing sight of what an honor it is to be a dad.

Oh let's see... Never in your life did you think your wife, was going to have an affair and stay with , a guy that was in the inner circle.

AND you really didn't think that you would end up becoming a FULL TIME father to a teenage girl.. AND becoming a part time father to your son..

If all that, doesn't make you think twice, 3,4,5,times about your parenting decisions then i dunno what the heck.

It seems to me like you are right on target... Self exploration, self evaluating.. The timing of what happens to you is NEVER EVER WRONG.

It is your timing, something so very personal that no one can tell you any different..

I know you are not one of those STUCK individuals.. You are one that is taking the time to heal, so there is fear, doubt etc with all of that..

HOORAY..


Thank God you are not like you used to be waaaaaaay baaaaaaaack in the day, when rash decisions were made..

You can take a step back or forward and do it with a mature, responsible decision.. And if that doesn't speak volumes of how far you have come then just shut it already.

You, Swooshy Bug and I , have the same conversation.. WHY are these jokers still with the same people they had an affair with???.

I just want to introduce the X to some lovely chick already... Just break up with "her", already !!!!!!!!But, what can we do? .... Nothing about that, so we just complain about it every few months on a phone convo and move on with it...

Faking it till we make it is progress, and it is a step forward....

Um , at least you went out on dates and actually had a mini R here and there, do you not remember me? NADA.. ZIP made up a million excuses.. AND deep down I was just not ready for all that NEW stuff.....

4.5 years later I'm ready... It is still scary, heck yeah.. Do those fears creep up? hell yeah... BUT we can not penalize someone else b/c of what our X's have done, and we can not penalize ourselves b/c of the past mistakes we have done...

I have just come to the conclusion and have accepted that I am ALWAYS going to feel SOMETHING about this divorce... Something will come up at one time or another and that is OK.. AND it doesn't mean I went backwards at all, It just means I am human....

Can't wait to see you soon.................... Biting...muah