It has worked better for me that I listen if H wants to talk. I have said a couple of times, if he wants to talk, I'm hear, just be cautious you don't say it alot.
I have an H that is very conflict avoidant, so if he says anything, I make sure I start off with my mouth SHUT and my ears and eyes open. If it is about a problem (esp with D's), I make sure I am compassionate and I DON'T try to fix anything.
