My compassion for my H comes from remembering that he was frustrated and trying to get through to me for YEARS! I read a post on here from a WAS not too long ago and the main idea behind it was that in most cases, your WAS has been trying to get through to you in one way or another for months if not years. Back then they did not question their feelings for you, they loved you and wanted to make things work but you didn't hear them (for whatever reason). Now that they've finally hit their wall, they either question or deny the existence of feelings for you ... NOW you are willing and able to make the changes and do the work that has been required all along. Then, to top it off, you get impatient and frustrated when they don't respond to you right away! It's normal for the WAS to need time to see, believe and trust the changes you are making are real and sustainable (and it may or may not be too late or not matter!). It's also normal for the WAS to go through a period where they are actually angry at you ... their thinking is: if you were/are capable of making and sustaining these major changes then why did you wait so long and until it was this bad before you did!
FYI ... when I say 'you' I don't mean Barkley, I mean any LBS in general. Anyway ... I found it helped to look at it from this perspective!
What did you think of the LOST finale?
PEI
You know, I am starting to think/hope that this may be MORE about me changing permanently than her in a MLC. I am doing it, but may need to just be more patient with respect to her feelings. I am hoping that this may be part of the big guy upstair's plan
Last edited by Barkley; 06/10/1003:20 PM.
M: 39 W: 39 Kids (3): S10; S8; D4 Married 14 years Togethor: 18 years Wife's Weird Behavior Started: 2nd Half of 2009 Bomb Dropped (about being "so done"): 2/17/10 Current Status: In counseling
