Because we are the enemy now. Somehow, that is what we became ... history rewritten to suit that scenario too. Children left behind. And anyone who agrees with them is their ally, no matter how evil or manipulative. They become cowards, unable to face their stupidity, and the pain they have caused.
The best thing is to let go, and move on. If they can catch up one day, then fine, but some leave it too late. Some have lost themselves in a maze that has no exit.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
BeingMe I agree wholeheartedly, and Goodfight I dont understand how this happens either, my ex married a very controlling woman and her mother is the same so he as two of them sorting his life out for him, ex's wifey has been married three times before and she did this to each and every one of them and more besides, I will never understand how she has gotten him to do somethings I never could, and I also know she is behind him not bothering with his only child and he also as an 84 year old disabled housebound aunt that he doesnt bother with and this is all down to dear wifey, but they chose their new life and they follow their path so it is on their heads be it, life is too short x
My ex's OW controls him terribly also. All my ex cares about is that she pays attention to him. He will do anything as long as she admires and adores him. Attention is the narcisists drug of choice.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
just a quick update, ex still hasnt contacted me due to the fact he as found out I do his old aunts shopping for her, his loss I am doing nothing wrong, childish of him I think, ex has seen son twice this week although son did ring me when i was out on saturday night to say dad was been an ass on the phone because he wanted him to go driving and then back to theirs for dinner, son didnt want to go to dinner and dad was getting annoyed and saying why why why dont you want to come, son as also told me that since he as started saying no to dad that dad thinks it is me that is controlling him again. so back to the same old story everything is my fault, ah well leave him be its his grave he is digging. also heard that wifey and ex had an argument in the pub and it resulted in him walking out of the pub and leaving her in there on her own, this was around the same time he was phoning son and kicking off, obviously the drink runs his life, oh and he is also out of a job yet again, this is the eigth since he left us, totally all unlike the man I knew, anyhows onwards and upwards off we go, xxx
Mandy, You have a raised a wonderful son who knows the difference from right and wrong. I'm glad he told him no about dinner. Why should your son be subjected to wifey? There is no reason for him to be around her.
As for the X digging his grave, he's doing a mighty fine job of it w/o anyone's assistance.
I hope that you and your son are doing well despite all of this.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
GF, we were separated in-house; we had separate bedrooms. I was planning the move when he wanted to try and reconcile. To be honest, I wish I had moved out and let him feel what it's like to be completely without me, but I was a softy in those days. And, here we are ... five years later, and nothing much has changed except I can't leave now since I have been fighting this brain tumour I had, and hopefully it will remain gone. Then we shall see. Anyway, back to Mandy's thread ......
Mandy, you have the right attitude ... onward and upward. Thank goodness, his aunt has you and your son.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
ah well 5 years to the day that ex announced he was leaving, what an anniversary!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all remains quiet at the moment, ex not talking to me, still not contacting his old aunt. son sitting final exams at school ex hasnt even wished him good luck throughout this time, it appears and truly feels like he as gone right back to the very beginning of this drama, ah well his choice. as for me come next week I am away for the week with 45 of my good drinking buddies, hahaha bring on the fun, oh and giving son the choice as to where he wanted to stay with dad or grandma and grandad he chose the latter, good on you son at least I can have a good time abroad knowing that son is safe with my mum and dad, happy days peeps xxxxx
BeingMe, I will keep you in my prayers, I didn't know that you were fighting a brain tumor. I'm so sorry to hear what you went through.
Mandyloo, it is the anniversary that my H walked out on me and the kids 13yrs ago, right after we were married. He returned 2 months later because he went for help and that was when he was finally diagnosed with depression.
And that never goes away, remembering when they left. Well, now I sit waiting for 19 months and looked like there might be piecing starting back in March but he pulled back again and he is like he use to be in the beginning. Mean and nasty and NO contact what so ever.
