I agree that your H is driven nuts by the dim/dark thing, he wants to control you. Don’t expect anything now, he’s angry at you for not being the Mila he knows, but he’s also infatuated with OW and by the way, they now feel responsible for each other also.
As much advice as we can give from what we’ve seen and read and done ourselves, only you can decide if being dark with him will finally push him to the point of no return.
You use your intuition. You have a lot of loving, caring and wise people advising you. You clearly have something special about you – just look at the traffic you get on your thread. People are drawn to you. Your H can’t help but be drawn back towards you when the infatuation is over. However, I must say that I see you taking the advice you get and filtering it and distilling it and choosing what you will do, but I am afraid that you will get too dependent on these boards because you do get so much traffic.
How well developed is your intuition? Do you find yourself facing a situation and saying “I have to post that to the board and see what everyone thinks?” BTDT.  Even got a t-shirt. OK, no I didn’t, but how cool would that be, DB t-shirts. LOL – we’d have to keep it stealth and just put on screen names and code words. Sorry, not much sleep last night, I’m being silly. (H used to love that about me, that I’d get silly when I was tired)
You get what I mean. Dark, dim, friendly, cake eating, firm, nice, boundaries, it gets confusing after a while.
Just be Mila. We don’t even know you and we love Mila. Imagine how much more that draw is for H. Even in the fog he can’t stop wanting to be around you. His conscious mind is telling him OW but his subconscious is telling him YOU.
