I think I am the worst DBr - I have a terrible poker face and definitely wear my feelings on my sleeve. I am not a good liar - have never been - but I am a GREAT problem solver, care taker, fixer - guess I have to begin using those skills on me! Thanks for listening!
I-
DB isn't about lying. It is about total honesty. Yes, there are parts that feel like lying sometimes (acting as if), but the truth is, if you are trying to implement a change, sometimes, it is the only way. By forcing yourself to do it until you believe and feel it. So don't worry about that.
Yea, I told you already, I suck at that.
Ok, so you have taken a step. Set a boundary that is for you that does not in any way force H to make a change in the life he thinks he wants to lead. VERY GOOD. It is a very scary step, but an important one I think. One that will give you both some space to work on things that need to be worked on.
Right now, at the beginning, for everyone, it is less about working on the marriage and more about getting to a point where you can work on the marriage if you both choose to. That is something I wish people could grasp much quicker.
I see you have a bit of a sense of humor (ie the long shower) and that will serve you well through all of this.
Do your best to enjoy your weekend, take some time to just breath, and let us know how it went.
Keep posting your questions and feelings. When you want to vent (and you will) come here.
I see that my friend, Brooklyn, stopped by, and I hope that she continues to post to you. She is an amazing woman who has more wisdom in her little finger than most of us have in our whole bodies.
Have a good day.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
