Did your W feel that your T was biased (maybe b/c he didn't agree with a S being the answer to her problem)? Is that why you found a new one? It's like she marched into the new T's office and said, "Now this is what I want!" Instead of waiting for the T to counsel the two of you. It sounds like she just wants to keep finding new T until she gets one to agree that S is the road to happiness. But IDK and I don't know what all the T said.
She has shut you out of her sexual life. From what you are saying about things, she has built a wall around herself and is shutting you out of everything concerning her emotional needs.
It is easy for a woman to give her babies all of her attention and physical energy....b/c they demand it. If she's not very careful,there is no energy or real interest to share with H when he comes home.....and at bedtime, she is so exhausted she just wants sleep.
If she is a perfectionist, and I think you said that she was.....that makes things much worse. After two years of this with the boys, it has become her life. Now, she is feeling some unfulfilled emotional needs, but she's built a wall around her. She's decided the problem must be the M. She's thinking that it can't be the children and that just leave "you".
Before going any further let me ask some questions, okay? Was everything in the R "normal" before she had the twins? I mostly mean did you have intimacy problem? You probably said but I can't remember.
Why do you think she's built a wall around herself? Women don't do that for no reason. That's not to say it is or is not b/c of you, but you have the closest look at this stitch, so what would you say would be the reason she's done this?
When women build a wall.....it's for a reason, and those first bricks could have started being laid years ago. Now, she is avoiding intimacy with you and trying to get out of the M.
If sex is the problem.......why?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
