Need help Busting Affair.

[elvencat]

And I am still waiting to hear or see any divorce action from him!

I know this will probably happen with H. I don't think he has any idea what this will entail. See, he has been married once before when he was really young. His first wife was older than him and he had six months of ok marriage followed by six months of hardly any talking or physical contact (from his viewpoint anyway.. I know how much to believe of that without her viewpoint) and he got a statement from his ex that "she just didn't feel like being married and wanted a divorce." So, he's been on the receiving end, and yet he's doing this now. Ugh. Anyway, she is the one that filed and it took her two years (!) to get the paperwork done, and all that while she acted like she was single and he did, too, after seeing her actions. They had very little property and no children, so it was an "easy" file. This will not be an easy file if it happens.

I think this is another reason he wants me to file. He's never been good at the paperwork and I'm the one who's usually done it if it needed to get done.

Now that I'm making that statement, I wonder if maybe my stance on him doing all the paperwork and me approving or denying it maybe isn't the better approach after all. I just had a discussion with MIL about how I felt H should have to work for what he wants. He's trying to get out of this without working on anything.

I feel he has to work for SOMETHING, whether that be keeping his family together or getting the divorce he wants. He can't just expect this to all go away without him working on it at all. I think he's pretending to be the martyr right now. So, if I show up with the papers, that actually may not shock him, but may just make him feel justified... IDK...... what do you think now that you have this part of the background?