Need help Busting Affair.

[elvencat]

Allen A: I really see the difference in the way you stated the convo and the way I stated it. I'm going to have to remember to not sound like I'm begging for his agreement to my statements. My statements are the truth and I do not need his "reassurance" that I am speaking the truth.

I keep telling myself that he is spewing the same things everyone else has heard. I repeat it like a mantra it seems like every minute of every day sometimes, yet I keep having a hard time remembering it. I have the book and I'll reread the specific pages. Sometimes I wish I had a photographic memory so I could stop myself in mid-sentence and remember what I should be doing and saying.

I honestly don't think that approach is helping you... Your H is just feeding his ego reading about two women fighting over him... He's loving every addictive minute of it...

I agree, and I had every intention of leaving it be, but intentions went out the window when I knew that all my friends would be able to see my comment and see the type of thing I'm dealing with through that. My common sense was outwayed by the knee-jerk reaction of "see see I told ya". Ah how juvenile.. I really need to stop that.

What actions has your H taken to pursue divorce?

Have you done any legal research with an attourney yet to find out YOUR rights right now?

The only action I know of that my H has taken is asking for a referral from IC on a low cost mediation service for people wanting divorce. He tried to give me the number and I told him he should keep the number because I'm not the one wanting the divorce, and I would look for my own legal assistance and not use that recommended by HIS IC.
I have a number of a good family attorney office and they give a free first consult. I haven't gone yet, though once I did set up an appointment. DD got sick, so I cancelled and haven't set another up yet. I know I need to.

You really want to detach here so you can find a way to handle this guy like a parent rather than a partner right now...

If one of his complaints is that he felt I was the parent at times (I admit I can see it because of his disability) is this a good idea right now?

This is ABSOLUTELY my story to a *T*. She "tried" to communicate that she wasn't happy a few times, so she has "tried everything". Now she is hellbent on getting a divorce to "make her happy again".

I am so, so, sorry you have to go through this.

Thank you. I've read a bit of your situation and I wish noone had to hear any of this.