"I can't. I can do all of the mortgage or 1/2 the mortgage and 1/2 of our son's expenses. I can't do all of the mortgage and 1/2 of his stuff, too."
Explain that to her. I guess I misunderstood when you said you had already put the money for the mortgage in the bank. If you can't do it.. then don't. She wants you to pay the mortgage to make it more "comfortable" for her. If you have the means to do that then do. If not explain that you both are riding in the same "Money Boat" and this is what you can do. Ask her if she is gonna take care of all your son's expenses. I did not read that she asked for you to pay that too. Again.. if it is a reasonable request.. and you have the means then fine. If not.. just say No. If you do it write it down.
"I don't think she's trying to see anything. I think she's been keeping me docile so that I would go along with all of her plans with little to no resistance."
And to a point I think this is a reasonable request. If she wants to go.. don't fight her on it. Don't create "Drama". At the same time.. don't get walked on. It is a fine line. It's the old saying "I you love someone let it go..". It is her choice to leave. And you can't do much to change that. It's kinda like if you have a job.. and you are really good at it.. but the company is just walking all over you. They make you stay late.. take on more work.. take less pay. Finally when you have had enough you walk in the boss's office and say.. I have had enough.. I quit. And you storm out of the office and slam the door.. and go to get in your car. You know you are gonna linger there for a min.. to see if they come running after you begging you to come back. Just so you can say No again! You really like the job.. and the people you "work" with.. but you just can't take it anymore. Wouldn't it be nice if they said.. Know what honey.. take your time.. think about it.. if you change your mind.. that same crappy job will be waiting on you.
"OK...48 hours and I haven't been able to speak with my son. I don't know where she lives and she's not returning phone calls."
"Lawyer time?"
Before you do that text her this...
Hey.. I know you are busy. I tried calling to speak to "son" and could not get thru. Could you have him call me?
Lemme know what happens.
Just leave it at that.. once you send the message.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
