I can see how it would seem that way right now. I'm sorry you're hurting.
I'd also point out to you that about 75% of us who have reconciled went thru EXACTLY such a dark, hopeless period. My wife said all those things -- and worse. She said I made her "physically ill." Less than 30 days later, she told me "I've always loved you," and "you're my home!"
Try to hang in there. The courts do NOT move quickly. There's a lot that can still happen, and a lot of cards still left to play.
Please re-read my post to you earlier today about "PATIENCE." I'm seriously concerned you're not going to make it, emotionally, unless and until you begin to grasp this MUCH better.
How much time have you spent reading other people's sitches???
