I'm pro-marriage. I've seen two (and pretty much ONLY two) approaches work, however:
1. yours ("Fight the affair with everything you got")
2. Robx's/Gucci's ("you know what? you're right -- maybe D is for the best")
I've seen hybrids of the two work, but those are the two that see results. BOTH are meant to shock the cheating spouse off-kilter, and force them into crisis.
