"Yeah, I am going to be "The most interesting man in the world"
Don't do this if you plan to get her back. In fact, stop thinking about getting her back. Start thinking about your needs for a change. Ignore her ranting. You don't need to be a d*ck about things with her, just be matter of fact.
You say it's like playing poker with her. Well showing that you don't care one way or the other and just being neutral will drive her nuts. Start living your life for now but protect your assets.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Another point QS, you seem interested in the education...
The emotions in you right now that you can't control... Shirley Glass refers to these as "Post Traumatic Shock"
You are going to feel very out of sorts for the next while until this blows over... you will be calm and collected one day and an emotional mess the next
nightmares, headaches, shaky hands, etc... its all part of the ride...
Read read read and you will understand... and where there's understanding, there's manageability
QS, you sound like a planner... In THIS case, its not a good thing.. you need to sit back to wait to see what happens...
This is the "in the oven" part where you watch what you put together bake...
You need to just let the exposure run its course (keep pushing it by keeping in contact with friends and family.. some will even ask outright what's going on...). Your wife has a lot to absorb
1. Financial hardship 2. Abandonment by her OM 3. A spouse that does NOT want to divorce her cheating ass (WTF?) 4. Legal costs and uncertainty 5. Living arrangements
Your wife needs time to process these impacts.. its been what two days of exposure here?
It takes WEEKs for that to sink in... Right now she's half baked in bio chem madness from her last session as puppy pointed out... She's still jacked up and full of confidence...
You keep exposin and show a STRONG FRONT.. and lets hope to god you are a good poker player... do NOT show ANY sign of weakness... show
Your wife will exploit all of that crap... this is a poker game.. once she realizes you aren't folding and her hand ain't as good as she thinks it is, she will very likley back down...
The reality takes weeks to sink in.. WEEKS, not days, WEEKS
This is assuming these OM steer clear of her... which is assuming a LOT of someone who was just days ago planning on mounting your wife behind your back...
Sorry, but I don't trust these creeps promises to stay away, they often don't (big surprise) live up to their promises... They are just a bunch of overgrown high school sleazeballs on the make...
Are we now saying that these affair chemicals would be similar to the brain chemicals that a "successful" criminal may have? pretty scary.
So i just go along with starting the filing process and separate checking accounts? I go along with a path towards ending the marriage?
She is planning to be away from home quite alot for work because she says she can't stand to be home. She is planning to visit college friends to "get away" and reconnect, again because she can't stand being at home with me.
"Ton of Bricks" called this "rebelling", so it will be the opposite of you and the marriage if this is what the pattern is.
If i don't agree to the divorce after last night and the exposure, she is going to think something is up. I thought I am supposed to play poker with her, and she is CONTINUALLY raising the stakes hand by hand.
She is taking CONCRETE steps every day to get herself out of here. It's like she has a definite logical plan to get further away from me every day hour and minute.
"She probably has someone advising her on this..."
Not necessarily. Most WASs plan way in advance or at least fantasize as to how they will leave so all they're doing now is implementing those plans now.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Nope, find a family therapist and start going to set a good example.
You act the way you want HER to act
1. Go to family therapy 2. Stay close to home and any children you have (you don't have a signature so I dont' remember) 3. Keep in close touch with friends and family 4. Pay your bills, keep the lawn mowed, be a responsible adult
Do what you can to make the home more inviting. If there's something that needs fixed in the home, fix it. You may find jogging or something helpful right now, many LBS' take up jogging.
Keep tabs on her, keep the INTEL running as well as you can... Get a GPS device and put it in her car if you can.. Pupper did this and it helped tremendously...
You have a rebellious teenager on your hands right now and you will have to handle her as such.. this means showing her what an adult looks like while doing everything you can to keep her from harming you, herself, and your family
