Need help Busting Affair.

[elvencat]

Wow, thank you so much for that long list of insights.. I have to say, I laughed my head off at: If you don't want to go to OW's class, write up a paper, make 100 copies and pin them all around the university... I would love to be able to work up the nerve to do that. I’ll think on it some more.

And your explanation on how he has to dredge up ways to not feel guilty make so much sense to me now.

H and I had another convo today after I got a message from OW’s Sister… more on that later. Your advice to make this about “family” must have hit home at some point because H said he felt I was attacking him by saying “you are laying this all on me and talking about me being the one destroying our family..” The following convo went something like:

Me: You are the one wanting divorce, correct?

H: Yes.

Me: You are the one who became involved with someone else knowing we still haven’t worked through anything. Is that a true statement?

H: Yes.

Me: Knowing that divorce will mean destroying any semblance of family, you are still advocating this approach. Do you agree?

H: Yes.

Me: Then how am I attacking you by stating the truth? You are the one choosing to destroy our family by your actions. You have not given us all the effort you can to make our marriage and family a good one. You are choosing to leave and destroy everything we have built. I am asking for marital counseling to work through our issues. I am trying to save our family any way I can. Do you respect me for that?

H: Yes. But I don’t like the way you say it. Watch the way you say things.

Since this convo H has been nice to me, but is hiding in the basement now with his computer, so I’m sure he’s chatting with OW.

I have to say at times today I have felt childish. I’ve been using Facebook to my advantage, yet it feels so high school-ish somehow. I have managed to tick off the OW again. My H posted song lyrics something to the effect of telling me to leave him alone without trying to be too obvious about it.

Then OW had to jump in and post the following:
Take away, take away,
take away your ball and chain,
cuz you're lonely and you're tired,
and you can't take any more pain!

-Social Distortion – with minor liberties from me.

I returned the favor with the following:

And when her baby comes to call
He'll find her waiting like a lonesome queen
Cos when she's by his side
It's such a change from old routine

But the other woman will always cry herself to sleep
The other woman will never have his love to keep
And as the years go by the other woman
Will spend her life alone

-Nina Simone

No response has been made and I know she’s been online talking to him since then.