I figured as much. When you mentioned that you weren't sure if you wanted to stick this out because you might miss out on other R, I had a feeling you may not be able to make it.
I'm only saying that because I'm (or used to be) just like you. I had no patience at all and was all over the place. What I needed was a goal. So first you need to decide if at least for right now you want to save your M or not.
If you do, there's your goal. You don't attach a time limit to it or anything, you just start with your goal. Then you see what you need to do to attain that goal. Go backwards and start dissecting what your H has been saying now and in the past. Writing it all down really helped me to pick the good info from the BS my W was spewing at the time.
From there you know what issues he had in the M. Then you decide whether or not you are willing to change those things. A M is all about compromise. What are you willing to compromise? I know you journaled here. Repeat those things in a private journal that you carry around. Then you can add things when you're away from a computer.
By figuring out "his side" you'll know how to talk to him the next time and increase the positives in your interactions. I warn you again. It's not an easy or quick process. It's a growing and learning one.
I can't tell you how much I've learned and grown myself through all this.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
