Absolutely, that's me! He's very laid back and I'm more high strung. It comes from my past - have been on my own since I was 16, had my D at 21 and built a very successful career as a single mom, owned my own place and then met future H. (I have NO family of my own)
Told him upfront what I was like (past relationship taught me to be honest about my confidence etc) He always liked this about me and in fact still hasn't totally complained about that...we actually compliment eachother quite well...
It's weird - we went thru this last May-Aug too when baseball started up. We almost split up last August - he turned into a jerk which is completely out of his character. We made it thru and the winter etc has been "normal". Ball comes again this year and he says he's not sure if he should play cause it almost split us up last year. I didn't think it fair he doesn't play cause he deserves an outlet. So we compromised - one day a week and no weekend tournaments (he works 12 hour days so he doesn't spend a lot of time at home during the week...) Somehow it turned into two days a week (which is fine) but then would go for beers after and in fact lied about one game being rained out and had beers instead...
Everyone I know thinks there may be EA going on but I have checked his email, phone numbers, and facebook and there is nothing! Besides this, I know everyone on that team and they are all married couples....who have no kids....and get to do whatever they want...no ties at home.
Again, I know I'm controlling and this is definately something I need to work on - it's more of a survivor attitude than anything...I think that he sees freedom when he's at ball... again all his friends are married "normal" couples but not one of them has a kid.
I don't know what to think but there does seem to be a bit of a pattern. Now it's just gone to the extreme where we apparently are beyond hope.
I struggle with this 180 stuff - I haven't called/texted/emailed him - nothing! I want to give him his space so he can figure things out on his own - it certainly doesn't help that he's with his mom that happens to be co-dependant. 180 for me would be to show affection, to be "kinder", yet everything points to NOT doing that - comes across as needy, desperate etc.
I panicked (typical woman) when he was leaving Sunday, I was a basket case and I'm sure that was totally unattractive but will say it's not like he walked up to me and said hey I'm done. We had been talking for 3 hours and I think he was just fed up. Again, it's not like he stormed out - I begged him to leave...and now look. He won't come home.
I don't know how to handle this. I will not bring up M/R to him at all yet I worry if I don't he'll assume I'm done considering the type of personality I am.
All I keep hearing is "patience". If there's anything I learned about myself during this experience it's I like serious patience!!!!
