It was not a positive session. H brought up divorce 2x and wants to start on separation agreement.
I was quiet and listened for him to present his issues...
He felt that I'm not communicating with him about D. Doesn't like that I don't call him and tell him what she is up to.
I said that D is old enough that he can call her and ask her about her day.
He thinks that I'm not accepting the reality of the situation...and still hope that this is just an affair and will blow over and he will come back. It is not and they love each other and want to be together and want to divorce to do that.
I said that I understand how he feels and that I have accepted the reality after the last false R.
Doesn't like that I told OW's H that he is in MLC. Because it's not true.
I said that I'm sorry, I only told him my opinion.
He resents that I don't want him to come to the house and work on the yard when I'm not there, I'm not being reasonable about it. That it's crazy that I would not trust him in that, he would never go into my office or my bedroom.
I said that he is welcome to come while I'm there, but I would like to keep it that way.
He wants me to communicate with him (text) while he is with OW, because that's how it's going to be, she will be here or he will be there. And we can't do business otherwise.
I said that I will reply to what is necessary as I did all along, so business doesn't suffer.
I only looked at and addressed the counselor, it was easier for me to keep it together that way. I don't think we looked at each other once.
He was cold, determined, no emotion in sight.
The councilor asked him what he imagines our relationship to be like now, he said "I guess I understand that we can't be friends" I said that it's really sad that after a lifetime together we ended up like this. H said yes it's sad.
I said that only 5 weeks ago he wanted to R and we didn't have problems communicating then. The C asked "Is that true, did you want to come back?" H was scrambling for answer and came up with "Only for few days"
Oh yes and he kept using OW's name (trying to legitimize her), after taking it for a while I finally said not to please use her name...
There was more back and forth, I don't recall everything now. At the end the councilor said that it looks like the bond in our relationship is broken, and it would be best if we didn't talk about emotional issues for now and only communicated via e-mail.
As we were leaving I was walking first and got all the way to the elevator and was assuming that he was right behind me, he wasn't. So we didn't even say bye to each other.
Was the session helpful? IMO it wasn't, the opposite....
Tomorrow business meeting with H at Starbucks....
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
