Sandi...I was encouraged by the "you have the ability to make me love you again" but I think she is cake eating because she has said repeatedly "why should I give up friendship with OM...he is like a really good female friend and is like family to me...he understands me...I'm worried about him"
Well most WAW's in an A would more than likely tell you that it would snow in hell before she would love you again. But, don't jump in the air and click your heels just yet b/c it could have meant something else. It's just rare that a LBH is told that.
The excuse of saying OM is a "friend" is really getting worn out these days. And with FB, TM, etc., more & more people are contacting the opposite sex and calling it friendship. In reality, if two people are in a MR then that leaves no room for this type of friendship. I'm sure many women libbers would fight me about that, but I stick to my guns b/c it's just plain wrong. She would not want you staying up all night talking to another woman you claimed was only a friend. She wouldn't want you constantly TMing OW or going out to meet her somewhere. Friends of the opposite sex are okay as long as it is done respectfully.....which usually means no secret contacts. If they are only friends, then she shouldn't have any problems with you sitting next to her while she's on the computer with him, right? She shouldn't mind you reading all the emails & TM's from her friend.
I think you may be getting the idea how to handle some of these demands she makes on you. Just need some more practice. Don't worry b/c you'll get plenty.
I am not saying to ever lie to her, but perhaps you can think of something to use as an answer if she ever calls again and demands to know where you are or what you're doing. For example:
W - Where are you? H - Out. W - Where are you!? H - Is there some reason you can't hear me? I'm very busy, why are you calling? (or something like that that does not give her a direct answer to her demanding questions.)
But, you didn't do too badly.
I agree with Puppy.....very, very much. Listen, I'm old fashion but I never waited on my H to discipline our children! I was big enough to handle it just fine. Now, has she always done this, or was that her way of keeping tabs on you? Next time, tell her that she'll have to try to act like an adult and parent her child. Then hang up. Don't ever....EVER rescue her from a child!!! That is crazy!
Think about these things that she might try in the future so you'll have something prepared to say....and it won't catch you off guard. Remember that she needs to have a taste of what her life would be if you weren't around.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
