Thanks for your concern and advice, Allen. I am reading a lot on detaching right now. Concrete examples help, as a lot of what I've found is very abstract.
The folks who say they want to string him up are all senior officers, so it's unlikely they'll do anything to him (and I truly wouldn't want that to happen) but he used to be admired and respected in the community and now he has made himself look like a nasty, immature loser. Lots of people here drink a lot (I'm a teetotaler because of my family background) but crossing over into blackout territory is frowned upon. I haven't given out that detail, but one of my taxi driver friends told me he saw him staggering home from Bimbo's bar the other night. That was sad, but you're right - there's nothing I can do about it.
Discovered OW1: 1/10, H refused to talk. H moved in w 1st OW: 3/10 H cheated on OW1: 12/10 H left OW1, moved in w OW2: 4/11 D: 9/11 Still miss H. Don't understand, H just left, never even talked w me.