you know, it can feel like this but re-read what people have posted cause there is some good stuff there. i re-read my thread occasionally and it's amazing how you understand things on a deeper level each time you read the advice. also, keep posting, ppl do read!
btw, DB is the biggest test of patience EVER. while there doesn't seem to be a magic bullet, i have noticed two consistent themes for "success." 1 - detaching and having your own life (trust me, i'm still working on this so not saying it's easy!) 2 - small, consistent changes over time are what is noticed by the spouse...nothing you say will help (and some stuff can hurt so it's better to "talk less, have more fun" as my coach told me). there was a post somewhere that said it well. it didn't happen that your spouse decided to leave you overnight...so coming back won't either.
one other small thing to remember, you can't weigh your H's behavior against the "standard" benchmark of how people should act. understand he is in his own reality and you can accept that in all it's weirdness and move on with your life OR keep getting upset at something that truly is out of your control, thereby causing you angst. from my experience option 1 is better for your sanity.
