That's why it doesn't matter if you know what the "script" is. You can't anticipate things in a definite way.
Right now she's wearing the pants and driving the train. What can you do so that you are back in the driver's seat?
I thought exposing the affairs and confronting the other guys would shake things up so she does not feel like she has all that "security" when the divorce is final. Like it might cause her to reconsider when she figures out Mr. Facebook won't be telling her how great she is for 4 more months.
Like I said she is VERY stubborn, and I am not sure exactly how to proceed. I am definitely a little nervous and panicked.
QS,
You are waaaaaaaaayyyyyy too impatient. I mean by like 50x.
This is a marathon, not a sprint. You just exposed her, and she most likely doesn't even know yet that these two other OM aren't going to want to have anything to do with her.
She has no clue of the legal ramifications other than what her atty has told her so far, and many are known to "blue-sky" their clients. Also you should STRONGLY consider the possibility that whatever legal advice she has gotten is based on what SHE, your wife, as told the atty and there's a VERY high likelihood that she LIED to them (I know, I know, for the life of me I will NEVER understand why people lie to:
- their atty - their physician - their IC)
She has thus far felt ZERO financial consequences, nor does she probably even have a realistic CLUE about what they are.
Hell, physiologically, she is (and I'm no pathologist here) probably still coursing with 90%+ of the PEAs thru her brain than she was just five minutes after her last cybersex event.
SHE HAS NO CLUE YET WHAT IS IN STORE FOR HER.
And all of the stuff about your marriage is classic "re-writing of marital history" script. Let me take a wild guess here: I'll wager that you have anniversary or Valentine's Day cards from her, as recently as THIS YEAR, in which she wrote something very nice and personal??
You need to RELAX, dude. I know this is incredibly difficult -- IT WILL BE THE HARDEST DAMNED THING YOU'VE EVER HAD TO DO -- but that's all the more reason why you'd BETTER settle yourself in for the LONG, MARATHON HAUL.
Here's another dose of reality, as if that wasn't all enough: if your wife came to you TONITE, completely remorseful, contrite, and begged you to take her back and reconcile, cutting off all contact with OM and agreeing to full transparency . . .
. . . it would be AT LEAST six months before she will begin to meet ANY of your emotional needs, and possibly even your physical ones as well.
Sorry for the cold dose of reality, but I've studied hundreds of these things and have gone thru it myself. And I can still remember where I was sitting, what I was wearing, and the angle of the sun thru my family room window when I read the e-mail from my mentor telling me the exact same thing.
