I think you're glossing over the fact that your W has some pretty big issues. I mean, I seriously doubt that she is holding a grudge about your non-proposal when she's, in fact, still M.
Was any of that addressed? Have you ever just straight up asked her why she hasn't D her H? I mean as it stands, she might still be seeing you as the OM.
I hear what your saying Mr Bond, and on the surface it would seem to make sense. But who would actually know better other then her ?? ME ! I KNOW what that did to her, it just happened 6 weeks ago and was the catalyst for the separation, her feeling like I had " commitment issues" when its very true I had plenty of chances and money to do it over the years.
Your assuming she felt or cared that she was still " married " Im telling you it was between two KIDS , as a shotgun wedding and meant next to NOTHING to her, it was a marriage of convenience and an ultimatum from the parents because she got pregnant. I KNOW I've mentioned that at least once before. She left less then a year into it. She DOES NOT view him as her husband , he is her EX ( her words)
I did ask her the other day why she never divorced him. The answer was , " because you never asked me to marry you " and Im guessing the analysts will say there's some kind of hidden meaning in that answer. But for the most part I know how she thinks. That answer didnt mean that she felt she always had the safety net of him to fall back on, they had NO contact for 12 years !!!! When we were in a similar sitch in 2007, she DIDNT run to him to fulfill her emotional needs.
And I have to admit, when we were first dating. She told me one night she was going out of State for awhile to deal with some of her "issue's", a " retreat of sort to get away and sort things out. Since at that time I was a horny 21 yr old I tried like hell to make a move and got shot down cold. We didnt have sex for almost a year or more after we had first met and a month or more after we first moved in together. Hell , she wouldnt say " I love you " to me till almost a year into the relationship.
Im telling you guys, you simply cant analyze this with the cookie cutter approach. Yes alot of the things may fit the patterns, but not all of them ever will.
