Sorry if I missed something in your posts, but do your in-laws with whom you are living know your husband is smoking and selling pot? It sounds like an intervention is needed and some boundaries set by them and you on your behalf and that of your daughter. He may continue to say he has nowhere to go, but getting kicked out of the house with the possibility of having to live on the streets is the consequence for not contributing financially and for breaking the law. I know this is a very "tough love" approach, and I know better than anyone that it's easier said than done to kick someone out, but your daughter doesn't need to be in that environment. It also could put you and your in-laws in a tight spot if he gets caught at what he is doing and the police come to their/your home. Try to stay strong and quit beating yourself up. If you don't think you can for yourself, then do it for your daughter.
