One life / But we're not the same

[MichelleLT]

It seems to me that he stated that by being friends with people in his life I am invading his world.

I don't like his double standard because I don't tell him who to be friends with regardless of whether I am also friends with them. We still have some mutual friends, I just have understandings with them that I do not want to know about his life.

I am not in touch with him because I do not choose to have friends who treat me without respect, who are callous to me, and who lie to me. Since he has spent a good chunk of the last 3 years doing that, I choose not to have his toxic energy in my life.

His family on the other hand, has been perfectly supportive, nice, neutral, and friendly through it all. My friendship with them is not based on him at all, we don't discuss him. I see them 2 or 3 times a year. Talk to them periodically, mostly via e-mail rather than phone. Of them all, I talk to his sister the most, so I find it very strange that he is so flippin focused on his mom.

I don't particularly care if he thinks it is weird. I don't tell him who to be friends with, and I don't think it is fair for him to tell me who I should be friends with.

I have not decided if I am going to reply.

If I do, it will go something like this:

I am sorry you feel that way.

I am a bit confused why you are bringing it to my attention though. I do not feel it is my place to interfere with your relationship with your mother. If you have some problem with what they are or are not telling you, it would probably be more productive to discuss the issue with them as they are the ones who have control over it?

I do not know anything about these issues since what little relationship I have maintained with them does not involve you. I have an explicit understanding with them that I do not ask about you, and they do not tell me about your life.

You made the decision that I was no longer to be your family. I have accepted that and moved on. I am not good at cutting people out of my life however, and do not make that choice lightly. I choose to not maintain any relationship with you because I feel it is best for my mental and emotional health.

You do not actually have to sit there and nod and smile. They will love you no matter what. Perhaps discussing these issues with them would really help your relationship with them.