Remove all memory of him from your living area... I know you can't move right now, but do what you can to aim for that... You want to start off with a fresh life..
Don't date, don't divorce, just separate yourself from him such that you view him as a child rather than a partner... parents know how to detach themselves from their children's behaviour such that they can keep their sanity. Children act out, yell, name call, lie, and do everything they can but good parents let that roll right off them.... how?
They detach... They can still love the child but NOT let the child's emotional drama into their mindset...
Your H is the same. If HE wants to live and act like that, let him go.. he will destroy himself.
If people want to beat him up, just tell them they can do what they want to, you are NOT going to protect him while he's cheating.. if him getting beaten up is the consequence he has to bear then so be it.
This is an addiction, if he refuses rehab you have to cut him loose.. a lot of family members have trouble detaching from their addict family member... they enable for YEARS until they finally realize the addiction is USING them...
Separate yourself in your head from him... he's a child and he's lost to his addiction right now...
Let it run its course and either destroy him or he will eventually come to his senses. If anyone asks, you tell the truth. DO NOT PROTECT HIS SECRET ADDICTION.. its NOT helping him...
Focus on what YOU want to do with YOUR LIFE...
SIt down and figure out what you really wanted to try or do but never did or chickened out.. THIS is the time to DO that.
Work on removing everything of his from the home that may remind you of him... sell it all on ebay.
