Don't let the lawyer scare you away... its her gut reaction.. once she realizes these OM don't want to be around her she'll soften up a bit.. People very often talk tough when they have an escape route...
Once she realizes you have shut those down she'll back off a bit... As long as you keep teh focus on saving the marriage and remaining respectable... no name calling, no blaming.. just tell the truth calmly and ask friends and family to help the marriage.. you don't want them taking sides... TELL them that... tell friends and family you want them to respect your wife, but you want them to reproach infidelity... and encourage her to cooperate as a family should...
that's all you have to do and say... let HER blame, let HER point fingers, let HER threaten divorce, let HER act like a lunatic...
