Prairiegirl – my part in the breakdown: This is what he’s told me, I looked after him like he was one of the kids and not special and didn’t treat him as a H. this is true, I own that and have apologized to him for it. I allowed us to live increasingly separate lives, not entirely my fault here although I should have made more of an effort to spend time with my H without the kids (research suggests that his LL would be quality time). I became too independent and he wanted someone to be more ‘needy’ (his words). In the beginning he told everyone I was brilliant as I could do anything, I wanted to please so did more this was my downfall. He travelled a lot when the kids were little so I had to get on with it and couldn’t rely on him for support. The OW is the needy type. Ironic eh? No I don’t want to get back with him whilst he’s bitter and feels that it’s all my fault, but would like to see a situation where he owns his part and we work together and resolve these issues. Only then would I consider reconciliation.
Timehealsall – I suppose that the bottom line is that when a person (or animal for that matter) is scared and frightened there’s the fight/flight respond. I choose fight my H chose flight. He was scared and frightened at that time, I was depressed and couldn’t see any future, bad case of empty nest syndrome. He probably felt that life was going to be like that forever.
Trouble is I’m better now and do feel like the woman he M. I unrealistically expect him to see that and want to work on a new and more fulfilling R together, but am aware that that's not likely to happen and even if he did would he admit it after all this time?
