Dude. Remind me NEVER EVER to mess with you. Seriously. I thought I was being a hard person, and you should have read my FB message. I was calm but sincere and stern about my "disappointment". I didn't threaten him at all. I even messaged him again to make sure he knew that.
Sorry QS, but you need to think VERY CLEARLY here... This guy is HITTING on your WIFE.. He is NOT someone you can take at their WORD.. He's putting his wife, kids, and YOUR ENTIRE HOME in Jeapoardy in the chance that he might violate your wife... You want to go gentle on this MotherF$#R?
Don't... the stronger front you put forward the more intimidated he will get... Keep it clean, but strong and don't pull punches... He's been moving in on your wife behind your back.. He's NOT here to help you and in a tight spot he will BREAK and RUN... He's not the guy you want with you when the time comes to test guts or go... He's a toad.
Sit down with each of them face to face calm, reasonable, and honest.
Tell them you love your wife, your family, and your marriage and you want to do whatever you can and WILL PROTECT it in ANY WAY you have to in order to keep the marriage alive.
Thank them for their time and apologize on your WIFE's behalf for them becoming part of this uncomfortable mess...
Tell them thank you and that if/when THEIR time comes they can COUNT ON YOU to support them the same...
Stay calm and reasonble... your wife is likley raising her voice and calling you names... who would YOU believe after hearing both presentations?
Its all in the marketing Quick.. the truth is in the marketing.
The work guy who was her first one I just did it now, and he bolted like i have never seen before. Deleted his FB account and all. He NEVER contacted me back at all.
Quote:
He is NOT someone you can take at their WORD.
This is the FB guy, and is the most RECENT. I contacted him last night. And he was VERY angry. But he said he'd back off, and he unfriended her. That's when she lividly confronted me about logging into her FB and doing it myself.
She THINKS I did it, and changed all her passwords. She even texted him late last night telling him there was a "problem" with her account and she needed him to re-friend her.
She doesn't realize he did it of his own accord yet. But he said he wants to talk with me further. Should I or should I just leave it be?
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
The only thing you have to tell him is to back off... you find leverage to show him you CAN make HIS LIFE VERY UNPLEASANT if he don'st go away..
Make sure he TELLS your WIFE he does NOT want ANY CONTACT from HER AGAIN... or she will keep chasing him
A lot of OM do this when confronted.. they agree to back off, but they don't TELL your WIFE that they want out... they get an ego boost from being chased desperately.. its pathetic..
You tell this guy to back off and tell your WIFE to back off too... tell him if SHE doesn't stop calling HIM that YOU will make his life unpleastant and show him you can
I just checked the phone records, and she has called a lawyer today, and is probably meeting with them.
What if she retains a lawyer, and they start pressing me or responding to all the actions I have been taking. Looking up numbers, records, calling people, checking network activity ect.
Do you think the lawyer will get aggressive and maybe file an ex parte order against me? Or file for discovery of everything that I have? She may tell him that I have gone "psycho" and she feels threatened. But in reality all I have done is just expose everything.
She is REALLY ticked. And she can be vindictive. I know I will probably need one, but I am wondering what how her lawyer will respond to all that I have been doing?
Anyone have experience with this?
Last edited by Quicksilver264; 06/09/1004:23 PM.
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
Talk to a lawyer yourself. Make it clear you want to save your marriage, but you want to know how to protect yourself legally as well...
If your wife brings up you seeing a lawyer you tell her the same thing : You are consulting a lawyer to protect and save your family, NOT to DESTROY IT.
Talk to a lawyer... all of this is speculation and this happens alot in these circustnaces... there's very often a lot of "he said" and "she said" during this time.. judges don't buy that crap...
Don't let the lawyer scare you away... its her gut reaction.. once she realizes these OM don't want to be around her she'll soften up a bit.. People very often talk tough when they have an escape route...
Once she realizes you have shut those down she'll back off a bit... As long as you keep teh focus on saving the marriage and remaining respectable... no name calling, no blaming.. just tell the truth calmly and ask friends and family to help the marriage.. you don't want them taking sides... TELL them that... tell friends and family you want them to respect your wife, but you want them to reproach infidelity... and encourage her to cooperate as a family should...
that's all you have to do and say... let HER blame, let HER point fingers, let HER threaten divorce, let HER act like a lunatic...
But she may be using the lawyer to document my "psycho" activity, or to file to get me out of the house.
Or she may use him to file for discovery of my evidence against her.
Read this again:
Originally Posted By: Puppy Dog Tails
If you learn NOTHING ELSE from this whole ordeal, learn this:
In every situation, rather than operate from a basis of "How will she will react if I do thus-and-such? Will she be mad? How will her reaction make ME feel?", and replace it with
"What is The Right Thing to Do in this situation? What would God Himself have me do, if He were standing right in front of me?" . . . and then let any bluster from your wife, as a result, be just that: BLUSTER.
It's very liberating when you finally learn to do that, and realize . . . I'm still standing.
I want to strongly suggest that you protect your family's money. Does she have access to FAMILY money to retain a lawyer? Protect it today.....
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
