Mine is always on the phone texting also......drives me f*#&ing nuts. It is probably just with girlfriends but the uncertainty is definately a factor. It also reinforces the fact that she would simply rather be elsewhere
Not to mention the fact that it is, quite simply, rude. I could be talking to her and looking her in the eyes and that f'ing phone beeps and she can't look at it fast enough.
just like all of the other teenage girls you see walking around today. They do the exact same thing
M: 39 W: 39 Kids (3): S10; S8; D4 Married 14 years Togethor: 18 years Wife's Weird Behavior Started: 2nd Half of 2009 Bomb Dropped (about being "so done"): 2/17/10 Current Status: In counseling
You're right. That's not the only way they act like teenagers, is it? I'd swear I was living with a 16 year old kid. The tantrums, pettiness, drinking, top secret crap that she and her single/divorced/underage co-workers talk about at all hours. If that's the life she wants, go live it and leave me and the kids to live in the real world.
You're right. That's not the only way they act like teenagers, is it? I'd swear I was living with a 16 year old kid. The tantrums, pettiness, drinking, top secret crap that she and her single/divorced/underage co-workers talk about at all hours. If that's the life she wants, go live it and leave me and the kids to live in the real world.
That's a good analogy. When my W was living in the house (or when she is over for any extended period, like more than half an hour) she behaves just like a teenager with an attitude. Innocent comments or jokes made by me to make lighthearted conversation provoke irritation or snide comments. Just like how some teenagers view their parents as the enemy, and/or someone to ignore and roll their eyes at.
I put up with this for a long time, but I'm pretty patient. Not saying it was a mistake, since I really wanted to give my W the benefit of the doubt due to her dealing with depression. But it got to the point where I was tolerating behavior that should never be tolerated, just because I was so used to it. Plus I was afraid to make the situation worse by calling her out on it, thinking that would set back my reconciliation effort. But I've finally arrived at the point where I'm OK with the sitch falling either way, so I'm not afraid to pi$$ my W off when called for.
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
I hope you are having a good day today. You both are right that they act immature, and that the world revolves around them and what they want and need. It is a very selfish behavior.
It is good that you and your kids are living in reality. They need that from you, and you are doing a great job proving that for your kids.
You are doing great, so keep it up. Move forward and with improving yourself. You keep me inspired to do better.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
Innocent comments or jokes made by me to make lighthearted conversation provoke irritation or snide comments.
Yep!
Quote:
But it got to the point where I was tolerating behavior that should never be tolerated, just because I was so used to it. Plus I was afraid to make the situation worse by calling her out on it, thinking that would set back my reconciliation effort.
Yep, again.
You know my sitch and, like you, I'm past being scared of her. I have went to see one L and have an appt. to see another. She won't move out and is making no effort-that I can tell-to work on the R. I find myself getting angry at times and need to do a better job of hiding that emotion.
Big GAL for me: I got in the band I tried out for. I played with them a few more times and they all liked it and asked me to go full time.
Maybe this will make her think a little bit. We met while I played in a band years ago. She would come and listen and talk to me during breaks and wait around after we were done and talk. I mean, after all, that's why we all start playing music-to get the girls!
It will be fun regardless of what her reaction is. Can't wait to start.
BTW, nothing really new on the homefront. Had a pretty pleasant evening at home. Laughed and played with the kids and W even joined in. We have been taking turns sleeping on the couch. I told her Sun. night that it was her idea to not sleep together so I won't be sleeping on the couch anymore. She can sleep out there or in bed, I don't care, but I will sleep in the bed every night. Don't know if it's a big deal or not. I'm way to big to fit on the couch. 6'2", 225lbs. My couch ain't that big! I fit much better in our king size bed. Especially when I have it all to my self. BTW, my sleep# is 75.
IDU, checking in. Seems like you're having some ups and downs. Keep on your path, you're doing great. I think your MC session was probably pretty normal. You might have been looking for more from W but it sounds like it went ok, just not everything you wanted. Hey, it's a start. It took a lot of courage for you both to go. Good job! Do you have another MC scheduled?
My sleep # is 50.
M 38 WAW 36 Together 19 years Married 12 years Bomb/Separated Oct. 09 I love my wife Sitch
It is nice you are doing something you enjoy. What instrument do you play. I may have missed if you already said. Sorry if I did!
It good that your sitch has not deteriorated further, and it is does take time for change to happen. So keep the positive attitude that you have.
I will not leave my bed either that I share with my W. It is my bed too. So I understand all about the bed. Your W can sleep on the sofa if she so decides, right.
Good for you taking care of yourself!
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
No other MC appt. scheduled. When we left the office, I was fully expecting the counselor to say, "I would like to see the two of you back here in two weeks," or something like that. Instead, she just said to call if we wanted to come back. Needless to say, I was pretty disappointed. It took a lot for her to agree to come, and would have been harder for her to tell the MC that she didn't want to come back. Now she thinks she did her duty, tried it and that's that. Oh, well. It's really okay with me. I wish she would just go.
I know she told her sister that the C called me out on things and said I shouldn't worry about the time she spends at school. That's a lie. She did call us both out on things we could do differently, as well she should have. It is never one person's fault. It takes two to screw things up and two to fix them. I would go back an a minute. We'll see. I think I will go back for IC and maybe that would encourage her to eventually go back.
