I just wanted to comment on something. It is imperative that we look inside ourselves and find out who we are and who we want to be if we are to be whole, happy people. During this process, when you look back, you should take ownership of your part in the breakdown of your marriage.
If you feel there were things you could have done differently and things you want to change about yourself, that is what you should work on.
But please dont take the blame for her not becoming the person she needed to be. Only she could do that. By doing so, you make her the victim.
And I say this because I blamed my h. Yes, he was controlling and put me down, etc. But ultimately, it was me who chose to allow it.
So, work on you. Let her work on her.
You are doing great, my friend. This all takes time. Just keep walkin'.
