Sit down with each of them face to face calm, reasonable, and honest.
Tell them you love your wife, your family, and your marriage and you want to do whatever you can and WILL PROTECT it in ANY WAY you have to in order to keep the marriage alive.
Thank them for their time and apologize on your WIFE's behalf for them becoming part of this uncomfortable mess...
Tell them thank you and that if/when THEIR time comes they can COUNT ON YOU to support them the same...
Stay calm and reasonble... your wife is likley raising her voice and calling you names... who would YOU believe after hearing both presentations?
Its all in the marketing Quick.. the truth is in the marketing.
