How did you MAKE your W get out of bed in the past? Did you threaten or harm her if she didn't comply? Did you drag her out of bed?
IMO you are taking all kinds of terrible behavior from your W because it is what you used to do. You feel guilty for the way you treated your W and now you are allowing her to do the same thing for you as "punishment". And really, how does that stop the cycle of negative behavior. It doesn't. What it does do is create an ongoing power struggle you will never ever break.
I know things are fragile but you have to learn it is okay to tell your W no. She is ALWAYS asking you for something... to help her find stuff, food, a blanket and so on. You don't have to say yes each time. And if that is what pushes her out the door then so be it. Let her live alone and see what it's like not to have a full time servant.
As isolated incidents some of this stuff would be fine but the incidents are not isolated. A very clear pattern is developing. My H and I lived in a power struggle for years and I can assure you once the struggle begins it gains momentum fast.
Have you considered IC for yourself? If not, why?
I really think you need to limit the amount of time you spend with your W. The two of you need more than computer games, tv, shopping and playing with the dog. I think you both would do much better if you found healthier ways to spend time together as it might create a new dynamic, you would get to see new sides of each other and it would break up the routine the two of you seem stuck in. It also might help create some immediate positive memories and feelings. If your W is not up for it then so be it.. do it for you!
