The fact is though that if we do not do the personal maintenance and growth all of that stuff matters very little. It merely means that you are a broken individual who happens to play a lot of ball, can socially drink, and has the ability to convince many people that you are just fine. It sucks waking up and realizing that you have not done enough to sustain the progress. It's a rude awakening.
Ian, I am in a different place than you are. But I want to ask "for now?". And that should give you a clue about how I feel. And my thoughts and coping mechanisms after "the loss" arent that much different than what you describe. But you and me and those of us that realise this is the case, have a better chance to deal with it the "right way". And sometimes it just helps, to control our expectations from our selves. Just play it by ear, relax, have fun. Do things that make you feel complete and content. NOT things that make you look like you are "OK".... Hugs Ian, xxxx, I have missed you too... K
