If I call Eli (teacher @ my son's school) Ian one more time....
No, your post doesn't seem odd at all to me.
I remember reading your posts when I first found this place, and how much I gained from them. It is a good thing to come to realizations & do self evaluation, that should probably continue thru our lives, right? It looks like you're being pretty tough on yourself though.
The OP is still in the picture for me also, over 3 years later. But I've rarely fit the typical profile in anything, so why would that be any different.
I will also admit, I was thinking once the OW was out of the picture I would have a much easier time with the whole thing.
As far as kids, what makes you think you would instinctively know how to proceed. Parenting can be challenging. I just moved my oldest son out of the house today, leaving him a message with his new address. Not instinctual at all.
Thank you for your message on the alt, by the way, it helps to have all the support you can get with kids.
It actually doesn't seem like 4 yrs is that long, in the scheme of things, to move thru the ending of a marriage. It's quite a shock to the system.
