Exposed finally,,limbo land

[newmama]

And another thing- I wonder what would happen if you had some things already drafted, typed up, ready to go to show her if she chooses to move out...

Like the visitation plan, division of finances, conditions for communicating (only about kids or money, through email, etc.).

But first you start with the positive: If she chooses to rebuild her marriage, save her family and end the affair, you want to make this marriage better than it was, and have a happy and fun family life.


To make it seem more appealing-mention the fun things you look forward to getting to do with her and the kids! You know, now that the kids are this age and that (sorry I don't remember) you can't wait to take them ___and we will have such a fun summer ahead of us!

And what if you listed all the things you see that YOU need to improve for your marriage; like recognize the areas where you slacked.

Now I realize that might sound like pleading, but if it is done like

" Obviously, this affair is a wake up call that some things are lacking in our marriage. [I am sorry for choosing work over you and you better believe I am changing that as of now. We need to reconnect through dates and I need to compliment you more.]

It will be tough for me to change but I am willing to do it because I am dedicated to rebuilding our marriage so that we are closer, affectionate, and truly have a fun and playful relationship! " etc etc (your words!)

But then you have the typed up, prepared "drafts" (because you would be willing to negotiate some of that stuff) of the arrangements if she chooses to move out. It shows you are prepared and not afraid to lose her (temporarily) if she wants to move out.

I don't know--just ideas--and one more thing:
remember, if she still chooses to move out, it will take some time for your boundaries and the exposure to have an effect on the affair so do not get too worried.