Ian, I'm sorry to hear about your sitch. 16 years is a loooong time to be with someone and it's not easy when it's the not the ending we had in mind. Different people heal differently and they the recovery takes it's own shape and time for each of us. I do believe that it's only been a few months since your D was final so don't judge yourself on time. Just take one day at a time, live in today, read some books (the abandonment book is famous around here).
As for not knowing who the heck you are...you're a whole, loving and caring individual first and foremost, second you're a great dad of 3 kids. There's nothing else that matters more. So be those two things...love yourself by taking care of you, by forgiving yourself and then be the best dad you can to your kids. Everything else will fall into place on its own.
Your friends shouldn't make you feel a failure nor should you blame yourself for your marriage. Marriage is about two people, no matter how much one person tries to make it work it just won't work if the other person's not into it. You did your best, she didn't. That's that.
Take care of yourself, find new friends if you have to, GAL.
Oh and if figgeroni is a chick, buy her a one way ticket to Memphis!
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
