still separated, headed for D?

[newmama]

OK am totally excited about my last hurrah and if I will be going down with the ship, it won't be some rickety depressing fishing boat--but a Carnival Cruiseliner! No, I am not taking any new medication...I have no idea where this inspiration came from! Maybe a culmination of events over the last week?

I think it's because since I am imposing an end to this limbo, I feel more daring to try something different. (What have I got to lose? WH already said he wants to divorce me.) Also because the more I set my "single parent life" up, the more I get excited about new possibilities and see divorce is not the end of the world. (UNFORTUNATELY THIS IS WHERE I MUST GLOSS OVER becoming a part time mom due to divorce and the effects of divorce on S....compartmentalization...necessary for survival...)

So I do want to report these things:

1) last night I went shopping and bought some clothes (S was with WH and my chest cold made it too hard to work out anyway)

2)I decided to let WH know I was working on the bathroom and this time, when he offered to help, I said "thanks- that would be great!"

3)WH asked me about why I wanted to change the drop off bedtime for S. I explained and he said he would compensate by taking time off work earlier on those days. Sure enough, he has done so yesterday and today! haha-I said I could meet him in the parking lot and he said "THANK YOU- I really appreciate it!" poor guy- all that driving! boo hoo

4)WH was concerned about MY chest cold, gave me some advice for treatment and told me he would take S for me if I got too sick and then told me to always feel free to call him if I need anything, he really means it (gee-could he miss not being needed???)

5)Between yesterday and today I informed WH about:

+me ziplining (his jaw dropped and he asked me if I was scared and where was I going)

+asked for his input on whether I should take S on a jet boat ride (he suggested I get a baby life jacket at Costco--this is so H of my WH!)

+S and I going hiking to a gorgeous state park that WH and I went to a couple years ago. I said "I really want to go back there..." and looked at WH like "remember when we went?" I swear I saw a look of disappointment in his eyes, like "awww! I don't get to go!". Sorry buddy- you aren't invited! haha!

+and some stuff about the yard

So now I plan to pipe down with all the stuff I have "started"- I have given him a lot to digest and think about! And I need my actions to speak for themselves. Like I am getting started on the bathroom tonight, will pick up a life jacket for S, wear my new clothes (I have a killer halter top for Saturday! It's so cute with my new sandals!)

We will need to communicate about the house projects... He will be here to work on the bathroom, he'll be here to work on the yard, and I will be happy, glowing and joking around, RELAXED with the release of mental tension.

My expectations? None- he wants to divorce me, right?