I'm not one to be giving advice but I have a similar problem I have been thinking about calling the om and telling him all I know but I believe it would end any chance of reconcile I think what i am going to do is keep trying to distance and work on me. maybe you should consider the same. I feel your pain hang in there
me 46 w 42 m 18 years this april two boys 24 & 14 bomb nov. 9 2009 still fighting to hold on