PEI...I have read some of your post...actually you have a very easy to read writing style...long, yes, but easy to read.
I would be glad to give some input if you want to point out specifically what it is that you want to know...
My husband didn't spew much either...and like yours, he pretty much avoided conflict which brought us to where we were several years ago...an abusive childhood...many similarities...I have noticed that it seems the worse the childhood the worse the MLC...
Also, like you, I did tend to be controlling...not consciously, like you, I was a fixer, a handler, a problem solver and solution provider...my H said he tried to tell me but I didn't hear it...believe me I did listen when he walked out the door...and I really thought it was too late but after much self-examination I really wanted to be a better person...I wasn't a malicious person or mean before...just strong and opinionated and oblivious as to how my H viewed me...funny, it was that personality that first attracted him...he liked that I was strong minded and could stand up and take care of matters...then he didn't have to...he used to affectionately call me his "mama pitbull" cause I would get the job done, work the best deal, and ultimately get what I wanted...all in a nice way but just didn't know how to take "no" for an answer...
So if there is something specific you would like my input on...ask away...I will keep tabs on this post...
You sound very together and definitely headed on the right track...I think you are much better at 180's then I was...
