Works sucks at the moment. I sit around doing nothing, spreading the word I am looking for a position, hoping someone will think of me if they have an opening. So far nothing but a small possibility which I may know more about tomorrow.
I had a fight on the phone with H. Like a nightmare form the past. Repeating trends. Distance is not helping.
Just remember what MWD says...the things couples bump heads on early in a relationship are the same they have disagreement with after 50+ years together.
Seek rather not to contend.
We know that where there is no contention, there is neither defeat nor victory. The supple willow does not contend against the storm, yet it survives.
Hey K.. sorry to hear that, what did you fight about ? Is it making you feel insecure/worried, him being away in a hotel there and remembering previous years trips? (didnt he go to South Africa before, when ow was still on the scene?). Its bound to be tough being separated, brings up all the old feelings/memories. xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Following along still and I can only empathize with where you are as I have been there too. Piercing is right. I don't have any words of wisdom for you because all I can read is your hurting still and it breaks my heart. It is totally understandable but since my D wasn't busted and in the end my H left after 18 months of piercing I don't feel I am a good one to give advice as I may be biased.
I see he is trying, I don't see that it's enough for you. So, I will ask you..... what will be enough? I sense you are waiting for the other shoe to drop, almost as if you are testing him?
Pushing him away in little bits to see if he will return to you.
IDK if that makes any sense.
Take Care!
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
Sandy, I am OK. In general. There is progress. Cant deny that. And he is consistent and persistent. Distance is making all my insecurities HUGE. I dont know if he can do much more at this phase. Dont know if I allow room for much more. The only thing that I wish for sometimes -often- is that he had not loved her. I miss the exclusivity of his love. That cant change...
Michelle, it was a thing about us trying to schedule vacation. His work schedules etc etc.
Today was better. Finally had my hair done. A haircut and highlights and eyebrows. Feel better. Work still sucks and I have no news.. xxx
That's a tough one since you can't really make a lot of plans til the job situation gets sorted out. Although, if you schedule vacation for sooner rather than later, you may still be twiddling your thumbs at work and be first on the priority list to request time off LOL.
I'm sure the work situation is frustrating for both of you.
I'm glad some pampering helped you bounce back.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
So how's he managing to hold up with your insecurities and emotional downs without him walking on eggshells? Can you share your insecurities with him instead of getting emotional?
"I see he is trying, I don't see that it's enough for you. So, I will ask you..... what will be enough? I sense you are waiting for the other shoe to drop, almost as if you are testing him?"
I've been seeing exactly this for a while. Are you trying to beat him into some shape of your choosing? If so you could ultimately be disappointed. Where does your commitment end? (I've see a case or two here where a potential WAW apparently kept beating and beating the apparently "emotionally abusive" H into getting everything exactly how she wanted it, but nothing he ultimately did satisfied all her requirements and any small occasional slip up by him was enough to set her off on the warpath again. She ultimately filed D after all the effort the 2 of them put in. I don't see this happening to you any time soon but, one thing leads to another and another, ...).
Hey M, "The only thing that I wish for sometimes -often- is that he had not loved her. I miss the exclusivity of his love. That cant change..."
I dont understand! You keep posting this and I keep replying, but he TOLD you he didnt love her ???
I think you are 'romantiscising' their R, because you cannot imagine being in his shoes, doing all he did, all that hurt and damage, walking out on his own kids, giving her gifts, trips away etc if you DIDNT love that person. Like, surely he must have loved her, else he wouldnt have done x, y, z?
Men are different. A's are different. We hurt those we love for no good reason sometimes.
I am sure he was obsessive/infatuated/excited in the early parts of the R, but on reflection, in love? No. ??? xxx
