Need help Busting Affair.

[elvencat]

Well, I had a conversation with my H today. He declares that he is DONE and that he has felt like we haven't been together for four years or so. Hmmm... that's not the way I remember things. He says all he hopes for now is that I can be civil to him, and we can agree to divorce. The OW has "nothing to do with it."

My response was that as long as he is in an affair with another woman, obviously he won't be willing to rebuild a family that needs work and the help of a professional marriage counselor. I told him my condition for willingly signing any divorce papers is that we attend counseling as a husband and wife and through counseling come to agree on whether or not our marriage can be saved.

I told him that he should not, until that time, expect me to be quiet about the fact it is not mutual should anybody ask. I know.. don't warn... but I continued to press the "not mutual" point and I slipped.

I realized today that his viewpoint on our marital history is so far skewed from mine, that at this point I honestly don't know that I CAN have any impact on his choices, no matter what I do, but I still feel I need to try.

So, he gave me the whole song and dance about thinking about MC again, and I'm pretty sure he's talking to his IC and OW before he comes back with a response. He also made the comment IC is just as good as MC when it comes to marital problems. ARGH. I know it's not the same, but it's so aggravating to know he keeps coming up with any excuse.

And BTW, I'm staying at home again and I've told him I thought it was only fair to DD that since she was staying with H and he decided it was more important to go out and have an affair, at least one parent should be home with her.

I'm pushing harder than I ever have before, and sometimes I feel like all it's doing is making him hate me rather than making him want his family back. Is this a normal feeling?