Not sure if this is advice or just commentary. My marriage has been in crisis since June of 2009. It began with an emotional affair via the Internet, like most of the others I have read about here.
I learned of the EA early on, wife agreed to end the EA. Turns out the EA was restarted (or maybe never ended). I always had suspicions but, like you, I was not comfortable with snooping. And, like you when I was caught snooping it seemed to make matters worse (lots of anger directed towards me), so I stopped hardcore snooping but still kept my eyes open.
I always suspected I was not being told the truth. I always wondered if the EA become physical (the OM lived far away so It seem less likely). Well, just this past weekend the truth was revealed.
My wife was acting suspicious (said she needed to go for a long drive to think and be alone) so I followed my gut and checked things out. I found her car parked at a truck stop - she was in the cab of a truck with her EA partner.
The point of this story is this. You need to know what you are dealing with. If there is an active affair (emotional or physical) you are unlikely to turn things around until the affair has been revealed (there are some more experienced veterans here that will delve into this further).
I wish I had been more aggressive in gathering intel.
Last edited by mrbt; 06/08/1007:52 PM.
Me: 45 WAW: 45 | M22 | T25 | No Kids Nov 09 W Filed | Dec 09 Separation Mar 17 2010 Divorce Papers Signed | Divorce Hearing Cancelled Moved back home May 2010 PA Confirmed June 2010 | W left Dec 7 2010
