We spoke on the phone for a bit this morning too...
I said to H, the D papers are sitting on the console by the TV, i know you havent been home, but hate that they are sitting out and staring at me. He said do what you want with them, I replied I would like to burn them. He said then do it, do what you want with them. And then said you and I should be planning for the baby, and he doesnt care or think about the papers, so do wht you want. I repeated what I intend to with them. H said OK, i dropped it.
H then asked if I wanted to go shopping for furniture today. Turns out the nursery collection he picked out was the exact one I looked at! So we went and had a pleasant time. H was extremely comfortable and looked happy.
i can't remember what we were talking about, something about Me and H and him living home, strange conversation, nothing to do with reconciling, but i recall it had to do with the fact that things wouldve been easier if he were living at home and we were a family and I asked rhetorically, do you ever think about it? Didnt expect a response. H said "Yes, I do". I was speechless. I didnt ask, i couldnt talk... H had a grin on his face, I pretended to not notice. (sigh)
How is it that there are billions of people in the world, and when I am with H I fall in love with him over and over and over again.
So tomorrow night he is stopping over to go over all the baby gifts. tuesday is birth classes... and H said he wants to do birth announcement b/c the baby deserves everything we always planned for and i said how would we sign our names at the bottom, and he said like we normally would.
Here we go again... but I am going to try and be a lot stronger this time... fingers crossed!
lol! I can't keep track of what you are feeling toward H! I think you 2 are going to end up just fine. :-) I am waiting for someone I have met on the DB forum to have a happy ending!!!
not to jinx it but you just sound like one of those couples who can't bear to be apart from each other.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
NM, I cant keep track myself. Guess its true when they say its a fine line between love and hate... One minute I love him, the next... pure hatred!
As for him... the only way I can describe it is with U2's song "with or without you". ahahahaha.
I wish more than anything that things would work out,but frankly I am a bit too tired to try anymore... today anyway.
H came over today and moved furniture around and to look at the baby gifts people have given us. He is nesting! Even put the base of the car seat in, when I still have 5 weeks left!
G, you dont have to say a thing... he confuses me... so, it means I do nothing! Dont look back, dont look forward... dont think about D or R... just dont think... when I do my head spins!
just sent a text asking what diaper bag i want, so he can buy it for me? huh? sweet... and so confusing...
Aha- well at least no matter if today you want to R and tomorrow you want to D, not thinking (or analyzing?) is probably best! Easier said than done though. Just float...
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
G, you dont have to say a thing... he confuses me... so, it means I do nothing! Dont look back, dont look forward... dont think about D or R... just dont think... when I do my head spins!
just sent a text asking what diaper bag i want, so he can buy it for me? huh? sweet... and so confusing...
so i am off to "not think"
Enjoy it for now, of course in the longer term you need to know if he's going to be a H or just pretend when its convenient for him.
I am still floating... not on cloud nine... just on thin air...
I agree NM and DLS. There is so much going on right now preparing for the baby, that I dont have or see the time to dedicate to 'us'. I honestly believe H is confused and not sure what he is feeling or wants. So, I am leaving it at that.
What the hell does he have to gain by being outside the relationship? It sounds like if he comes home you will do right by him and your marriage. That both of your needs can be met mutually benefitially.
Good point DLS. That's why i try not to think about it... if you would see us when we were together its like nothing ever happened...
Good part is if we were ever on the journey to R, it would be nice to start from scratch... our lives have been so crazy the past few years and consumed with him being a FT student, that everything would be new... wouldve been that way anyways had he not left...
