help with a plan

[pigskin]

You're right. That's not the only way they act like teenagers, is it? I'd swear I was living with a 16 year old kid. The tantrums, pettiness, drinking, top secret crap that she and her single/divorced/underage co-workers talk about at all hours. If that's the life she wants, go live it and leave me and the kids to live in the real world.

That's a good analogy. When my W was living in the house (or when she is over for any extended period, like more than half an hour) she behaves just like a teenager with an attitude. Innocent comments or jokes made by me to make lighthearted conversation provoke irritation or snide comments. Just like how some teenagers view their parents as the enemy, and/or someone to ignore and roll their eyes at.

I put up with this for a long time, but I'm pretty patient. Not saying it was a mistake, since I really wanted to give my W the benefit of the doubt due to her dealing with depression. But it got to the point where I was tolerating behavior that should never be tolerated, just because I was so used to it. Plus I was afraid to make the situation worse by calling her out on it, thinking that would set back my reconciliation effort. But I've finally arrived at the point where I'm OK with the sitch falling either way, so I'm not afraid to pi$$ my W off when called for.