Hi C,
Thanks for your post and I'm sorry for your situation. How do things stand now w you & BF? Are you on speaking terms? Email? Any C? I ask b/c I think how much the DB coaching helps really depends on how "far gone" (for lack of a better term) your R is.

For me, I was horribly desperate last summer when I first called a DB coach. (My H had moved out 3 mos. earlier). I tried to see online which coach might be most helpful. But I wound up taking the 1st available appt.

I'll be very honest here, the 1st coach I talked to did not really help. She did give me concrete action steps, as promised. But she was somewhat accusatory when I tried to describe a particular conversation, and chided me to "never interrupt a man"! shocked I was a bit shocked. I didn't feel like she "got" me or the R, as arguing/interrupting was NEVER our problem. (Lack of C was)

However, I did not give up & called for another appt., but this time I got Laurie, who I LOVE. To this day. I'll cut to the chase here.

You read my thread, so you know my D was not busted. So if you're asking did doing the DB coaching save my M, or R, the answer is no.

If you're asking did it help ME, the answer is YES! And maybe it was the luck of the right coach but she helped me look at things a new way, gave me perspective & got me through probably the darkest days of my life so far, way way more than the IC I was seeing!

At 1st it gave me some hope for the M, which I really and desperately wanted to save. After about 3 sessions though it was clear to me none of it was working. But I think my H was one of those who was just done, and even a miracle couldn't change his mind.

Still, she helped me figure out how to live through it, make a plan. I was in survival mode & I desperately needed guidance - boy I was a mess.

It actually she who referred me to this board, which has been a major lifeline for me. I encourage you to use it, ask others here their opinion, not just on coaching but on your sitch.

All in all, I'd recommend a coaching session if you can afford it. I think posting on here is also highly valuable. And read & reread Divorce Remedy which if you read it know you don't just read it - you have to DO stuff (set goals for the R, GAL and so on).

c1285, Give us more details, and as you read & post you'll find those on here who resonate w your sitch. It's a great form of support.

May I suggest a book called "The Truth About Love" by Dr. Pat Love? I recommend you read it ASAP, b/c you still have lots of time to work on your R.

Let us know what your BF's anxieties are: Fear of marriage? Commitment? Is there something else going on?

I will check back with you. I wish you all the best & you have my support on your journey. ((((hugs)))))
LFA