Whether you actually believe it or not, if it's true that your wife thinks you don't measure up, and you know she thinks it, and you stay in the marriage and don't attempt to fix it, then you are tacitly saying by your actions that you agree with her. Your actions will drown out any words to the contrary. And people don't know what you think; they know what you say and what you do, and that's it.
Imagine a man sitting under a downspout having his morning coffee. The water is pouring on his head, and it looks uncomfortable. He complains and curses the water, the rain, the gutter, the step he's sitting on. But he doesn't stand up and go sit somewhere else.
I too came up with the analogy of the position we are in with our spouses being akin to a "seat". Sometimes the spouse says to us that we're with them, this is the seat, and if you are with them, you are going to get the treatment that you don't like becase thats your seat.
Originally Posted By: SillyOldBear
What does that say? Does he want to be there? Does he like having the water pour down his face? His actions say he does.
Now imagine another man. Same situation, same complaining and cursing and whatever else. But this guy stops complaining, looks thoughtful for a couple of minutes, and then gets up and walks away. What does that say? Did he want to be under the downspout? Did he like having the water pour down his face? His actions make it pretty clear.
His actions said that he's not going to take that. By our actions we may indicate to onlookers that we actually like the seat we have been given by our spouses. The best thing we can do for ourself is not to complain about it and go find another seat.
Originally Posted By: SillyOldBear
Our wives can read our actions as easily as anyone else does.
