Have any of you talked to the OP with anything less than negative backlash? Would it ever help to 'clear the air' or is it just the control freak in me rearing her ugly head?
You know what I LOVE, its when a person already knows the answer...in fact uses it as part of their question. : )
And I knew you would say that ....
Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans
Cake-eating...
I do not think that words means what you think it means.
I see cake-eating as 'having your cake and eating it too' so when I referenced it above I meant maybe H is cake-eating by getting to have his 'separation' (not have to be accountable to someone, do and say what he wants, pursue what he wants to pursue) yet have a partner home to help with the kids etc when he wants.
I feels sort of like H is living two lives instead of figuring out how to internally reconcile that being a family man and leading an independent and fulfilling life do not have to be mutually exclusive.
If he's not 'cake-eating', or my impression of it, then perhaps he's reaching out and enjoys having his family around him, me included. I don't know.
I don't want to let him take advantage, but I also don't want to push him away if he's reaching out. Dunno.
That's why I'm going to try to go at least a bit dim (it will also be a 180 for me to be less available) ... flush him out a bit ... if he's interested, he'll pursue. If not, I won't notice 'cause I'll be too busy GALing
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
