Well here I am now. Moved over from DBD

[g450]

Thanks guys.

That is exactly how I feel. A beat up ball of emotions. I can see now where men our age become more feminine and the women our age become more masculine. Really do not feel like a man at all except on a rare occasion. This is where dating comes to play. Validation from women is what I crave now so you are 100% correct. Whether this is healthy or not I do not know.

Right now I do not see a road in front of me. And I feel that no matter which way I turn it is going to be painful and I may make mistakes.

I do know one thing for certain. I understand that she must be left alone. It's what she wants and needs. But this is the part that is also killing me. I tried to drown all this out with other women and even a drink or 2 but it is only temporary.

I want to love again and I hate being alone.
kat727, I hear you. Ironically there is one woman that absolutely makes me forget everything and makes me happy but she is steadfast in continuing to be single and enjoys that lifestyle. She has commitment issues but values me as a good friend. I do consider myself very lucky to have her in my life though. Had it not been for her being there for me during this whole thing I may very well have dont something stupid.

Thank you for the kind words. I really needed to hear them. This month of NC has been very hard on me and my XW flirting online turns my stomach. I would spend every cent I have to buy myself a IDGAF attitude.

Thanks again.