I went ahead and filled out the D petition last night. I sent my W an email explaining that I can't be in a marriage like this anymore. I need a W that is willing to work towards the future and if she is unable to do so then I will start the process. She should get it today and we'll see how she responds. I can't imagine she'll give me much push back.
It was really hard to send but I did it. I know that I still have internal issues that need to be worked out. I'm still seeing my MC who is now my IC. I'm hoping that things take a turn for the better.
M: 36 W: 29 S: 2.5 EA: 2/2010 OM1 D Bomb: 3/2010 PA: 6/2010 OM2 W moved out 8/2010 Loc: DE, USA
I'm sorry you had to do that. You never know what the future may hold for you; she may respond positively now that you've drawn the ultimate line, or you may D and reconcile 6 mos. down the road or even 2-3 years. It happens quite frequently, in fact.
I filed for D on my wife, when she refused to end her affair, and we're still standin', three years and one beautiful new granddaughter later. This ain't over by any stretch.
Try to give grace, and treat her with as much civility and class (without being a doormat) on the way out. It will serve you well in any potential reconciliation -- trust me.
My gut feeling tells me that this was the right thing to do. I miss my W terribly but I'm tired of feeling like a doormat right now.
I know that DR says that only one person may be working on the marriage while the spouse is set in their ways. I've been working on this for months and at times I see results but then I'm hit with another bomb. I start to lose faith in the system and get angry. As much as I try not to engage my W it seems to happen at times.
Today is a new day and I'm taking my life back.
Last edited by Fightingforher; 06/08/1002:47 PM.
M: 36 W: 29 S: 2.5 EA: 2/2010 OM1 D Bomb: 3/2010 PA: 6/2010 OM2 W moved out 8/2010 Loc: DE, USA
My W got my email about the D petition and she was a litte shocked that I didn't discuss this with her in person. I told her it was better for me to explain over email than to have a conversation with her.
I went out with some friends last night and I had a nice time not thinking about it. She text me a few times on why I wasn't answering her calls. I simply didn't want to talk about the R, I told her I was with people and didn't want to talk. I got home and she was asleep "spare bedroom".
I called the house this morning to talk with my son. She was very short with me and sounded angry but I kept on with my agenda to speak with son.
I have my IC session tonight and W will be at work. I'm hoping I"m handling this the right way.
M: 36 W: 29 S: 2.5 EA: 2/2010 OM1 D Bomb: 3/2010 PA: 6/2010 OM2 W moved out 8/2010 Loc: DE, USA
I went out with some friends last night and I had a nice time not thinking about it. She text me a few times on why I wasn't answering her calls.
Keep this up! Greek
Yes -- agree. Just make sure you don't IMMEDIATELY text her back (contact her), with how you'd prefer not to contact her, kwim?? Unless it's an emergency, or about the kids, you should always answer later, with a "Sorry, just saw this -- I was out. No, not avoiding you, just not prepared to talk about the relationship right now. We'll talk soon."
Tomorrow I have the day off and I will be sorting out the D papers to mail off to the courts. I'm very hesitant to do it but she hasn't shown any signs to reconcile.
I saw the MC lastnight (by myself). We had a nice talk and I told her I was actually filing the paperwork because W hasn't taken any steps. I feel like I'm making this too easy for my W but I feel like I don't have a choice.
The MC was impressed with the steps I'm taking to move forward and take care of myself. The MC tried calling my wife last week to meet but W never called her back. The MC said she is showing real signs of depression from the stories I've been telling her. W will not talk to a C on her own so not sure how she can get the help she needs.
I've really detached myself from W the past few days. We now sleep in seperate bedrooms. Should I be hanging out with her and trying to be the fun guy I used to be? I'm not sure how to act right now, we still talk and it's not that uncomfortable being around each other.
M: 36 W: 29 S: 2.5 EA: 2/2010 OM1 D Bomb: 3/2010 PA: 6/2010 OM2 W moved out 8/2010 Loc: DE, USA
I'm a little to the right of most on the "cynical" scale, but my advice at this stage would be to let her SEE "that fun guy," but let her see it (and hear from others about it) in your interactions with OTHERS -- your son, friends, family. Harmless flirting and being TOTALLY CHARMING with other women never hurts, either.
