Hi Puppy and Allen - Thank you so much for responding. Yes, you're right. I'd love an easier "put it all back to normal approach." You're also right that this doesn't exist. My courage comes and goes . . .
I've exposed to his parents and my parents. He is living with his parents. I've talked to his mom twice - once with the phone records indicating high contact and once when she stayed over at our house. Both times I'm sure he ran interference about what was really going on - but the last time I talked to mom she seemed less eager to engage. I know they are pro-marriage (parents been married for 35 years and big on family values) but there's probably an element of not wanting to get in the middle. I've never had irrefutable proof before (i.e. someone saw them kissing and he confessed) so I feel I might need to expose again there. I'm sure siblings hear from mom . . .
I threatened to call OW's BF - which is probably a good idea at this point especially from the ethical sense of I"m really glad other people had the guts to tell me what they saw.
I threatened to call his work - they are both accountants and she is his superior - they shouldn't be doing this. But, bad behavior is rampant in his work environment and I'm not sure of the legal issues of this, so I need to be very careful with this one.
Yes, I should have never threatened. I think that encouraged some serious cat-and-mouse hiding and prolonged the problem because he didn't want to end A but didn't want to face me calling his work.
Thank so, so much for your advice and patience with me while I've come to my senses . . . I have certainly fought with the "denial" stage of the grieving process. It just seems so unbelievable that my H could do this.
